Monday, July 22, 2002

The Weekend

Eeeeek! It's all over and I'm one happy bunny (watch out! - hehe).

It has been a long and painful experience - I could not stop packing and moving until so late last night - so long I got into a trance. It was it that I decided to stop! Luckily I got out of trance with help of hot shower.

I finished off this morning - throwing bits and pieces away...and packed the last box. Now its all over - got bit emotional though...I see the flat as a person...a person that I got to know over 21 months. I wonder if others think like I do?

Ippola and Mikey popped over for an hour last night...to pick up stuff etc. Bless 'em - they brough delicious ice cream to 'celebrate' the new phase of my life including Ippola's. It was exactly last weekend a year ago that Ippola and Mikey moved out where I live (or I should say 'lived').

Got to Stace late last night after that well-deserved hot shower. Yonni and Caroline was there - we had an indian, and we all became rather philiosophical...we ended up talking til early hours of the morning!...

Saw Stace today - I got rather emotional as she left for dog-walking with Heather...it just hit me that I'm leaving Reading :( I lived in Reading for 6 years and I can recall my first day here - I absolutely hated Reading, but now I love it :)

I'm here in my office to do some last minute thingy...then I'm going over to London this evening to see Mart - Yay! *Grins*

Tuesday, July 16, 2002

Phew! :)

I've been trying to send Mart text messages few times yesterday and today but the reports I received said that the messages failed to reach him.

First I thought that he could be in awkward places where no signal can be reached....but I just thought - if that is the case, the network should be able to hold on to the messages for 72 hours until his phone can pick up the signal. Why did they returned to me undelivered?

Silly me - I began to wonder if he had enough of me... or perhaps wanted to ignore me.... I thought I was overreacting yesterday...

But today, I thought something was wrong...I could not get my mind at rest but wondering what could be wrong. Perhaps he dropped his mobile phone in the canal or maybe it is stolen and the network has put stop to his SIM card... the list goes on and on.

How relieved I was when I checked my e-mail - he emailed me to say that he realised he has forgotten to pay his mobile phone bill :) silly Mart! He says he loves me very much... I need to relax! *grins*

Saw Alex earlier very briefly this morning over a cup of organic raspberry and pear juice...but will see her properly when we go for something to eat this evening - so looking forward to talking about life with her :)

Monday, July 15, 2002

Sorting out my emotional baggage...

Dearie me....the day is ending...I've spent last three hours throwing away all my stuff. I have this chest of drawers consisting three large thin drawers. Guess how many rubbish I had in these drawers = loads! I needed two black bin bags to hold them all! Mainly it is all paper... but with memories on them. Receipts, scribbles, old faxes, letters from the bank, and from my credit card company (all demanding payments!), leaflets, scribbles again, more receipts. I got rather emotional throwing them all away...they did nothing but hogged space in my drawers.

I am moving all my stuff into storage space this weekend..and I want to throw all rubbish out before I do that. My goodness, I have really got rubbish all over this flat! Why did I become comfortable living with them - the flat feels a lot better with these three drawers being empty now! :) Talking of becoming comfortable in awkward circumstances in your life... at least I've handed in my resignation last Monday... After sorting out my baggage - I now know the decision I've made is absolutely right for me now. But I don't know what jobs I will do after I leave in Septebmer - haven't looked yet! I don't know where exactly I will be staying in the next few weeks after I have moved out. Alex and Mikey have kindly offered me their spare room should I need it. I am truly grateful to have friends in my life...especially Alex - how would I cope without her :)

I better stop and chill for the night :)

Can't sleep!

God! I've been trying to go to sleep - its 12.30am....I know it ain't late...but its school night tonight!

Various things going through my head.... work to catch up tomorrow....and I have to finish them all by 5pm tomorrow - why? I'm moving next weekend!! I'm going to move all my stuff to a storage space and become 'free'....but how I'm going to feel free while I feel pressurised now.... I gotta start throwing all stuff out and pack! ARGH!

I guess I'm missing Martin....he's in Ireland - on holidays with his lovely friends... I'm happy for him that he's taking a break from work. But that doesn't stop me missing him....*blushes*

I can't believe I handed that letter of resignation last Monday... I'm leaving my job at University of Reading.... and that I'm leaping into darkness.... Martin tells me that being frightened is often good....I know definitely that it is good for me this time...Yay - I feel I can fly... :) Who knows - I probably get to fly for real next week after I've moved out of my pad ....

Getting sleepy now :)

zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz..

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Sunday, July 14, 2002

My lesson of being alone :)

Gosh - my first ever entry! :)

Today has been an experience for me. Today it just hit me that all my closest and dearest friends are abroad - Ippola in Belgium and Stace in Portugal; including my gorgeous babycake - Martin - who is in Ireland... I am alone today!!!! :)

Determined not to attempt to re-create Greta Garbo's life in her later years (she wanted it and I don't!)....I decided to pop over to Asda in my trusty old car. Sun was shining in heaven, heat sizzling from the ground - a perfect weather for relaxing alone :)

After my brisk visit at Asda - I drove back home, feeling that the car has turned funny - argh! A punctured tyre! Panic button!!! (hehe). Wanted to text Ippola - she's on mainland Europe..and she won't be of any help several hundreds of miles away!..Stace, nope -she's in Med and would not be able to help....Mart - too busy negiotating canal locks in Ireland..and beside he knows nothing about car anyway - bless his heart.. Then I thought 'ARGH' *a huge melodramatic moment fit enough for a drama queen*.....

I decided to face this challenge *alone* - so out of the car I got, to fetch the spare tyre in the boots. I was wearing my white top with cream bottoms with skimpy scandals, prone to get blackened! Anyway I changed the tyre *alone*....did it all in 40 minutes...tightening the nuts was tricky with my scandals and crowbar type thingy...but I did it *alone*!

The fact I did it *alone* I was able to achieve this challenge *alone* and overcame my fear *alone* - how liberating that was! But I didn't have anyone around to celebrate my 'indepenence'! heheh :)

I guess that was my lesson of the day - being alone for the day doesn't mean necessarily a bad thing....it can be liberating :)